Norman. 'the Ruler', Edward 'the Happy Guardian', Crowder.

57 years down the line a reporter with a thirst braves the dark depth of South East London to have words with the man himself. Chauffeur driven to a pleasant drinking hole in Norm's old hood the gent buys me lunch. Following negotiations around last editing rights, avoidance of slander, liable and official disciplinary action from any unmentionables, dictaphone poised, we begin.

How long has Norm been tending the turf?
Norm fell into grounds keeping as an 18 year old south west cockney. As an unemployed electrician it was an unexpected shift. However, Norm had a talent and having survived the tractor upholstery revolution, they now have padded seats and stereos, Norm is still at it forty years later.

What was your sport Sir?
Football. 'I was too short for rugby'. It's not all about size though surely lads, we can compensate with skill. Still the footy flare was there and picked up by Chelsea's under fourteens. Our wee Newcastle supporter kept booting and blocking around full back until Tennis took over. Could the lure of mixed doubles have been a contributing factor? And then came korf ball?! Mixed dutch basketball apparently. No plans for a court at HOP from Pegasus's ace defender. Shame.

So what brought you to Guy's, correction HOP?
'Tssssh' sneer the lads in blue and gold a question indeed. Well boys and girls Eton wanted him but he wanted 'The Oldest Rugby Club in the world'. Norm picked up HOP (and Cobham, incidently) in 95. The plan was only to stay for a couple of years and then move on. Happily for us he's been 'sucked in by the students.' Cue rousing chorus of 'we love you Norm' from our rugby ladies.

What are your plans for the ground?
Ideally want to drain the two rugby pitches, all those in favour grunt. Restore the pavillion, our friends on high would be keen to pull that one down too apprently. Me thinks we need a plan of action. Put in an astro turf for the welcomed return of the hockey teams. If not only to boost the bar takings by the grand they've sunk since their absence.

If you were given 200 grand to spend on HOP what would you do?
All the above and then work on the club house. Apparently a store room would be nice for the bar as half the stock can currently be found occupying Chez Norm and although the booze isn't that much of a temptation the Mars bars are prooving tricky to resist. Improvements to the clubhouse comes with a warning though: the baths will go.

What's your favourite tipple, track and TV totty?
Seemingly listening to the Moody Blues, with a pint of real ale and the lovely Carole Vordeman mopping one's brow would be hard to beat.

So where would you like to be in a few years time?
Jamaica.

Taking life easy with the Malibu Norm?
Absolutely not. Reluctant to ever retire plans are to soak up the sun, look after a couple of grounds over there and live in a tin box on the beach.

Until then Norm can be found most days, most hours as the happy guardian of the oldest rugby club in the world. Looking after it's grounds for the talented and er…..enthusiastic sports people of GKT. Much respect to him and the lone ranger Pete for their good skills and maximum effort.

Final word: We regret to inform you that this years bar takings at HOP are down substantially. This is a problem with a simple solution: Go forth and make like the Men's IIIrd rugby boys.